How Do You Measure A Month?
Each month for my 9-5, I have to submit a month-end report. I flip through my day planner and my daily notebook of To-Do Lists. I’m looking at my accomplishments, my consistency, and my progress. Sometimes it feels like my entire month gets reduced to a checklist. What got done. What didn’t. What I should’ve done better. During those months when I felt entirely too busy, but had nothing to really show for it … I try to look at ways that I did make a difference. Especially outside of my 9-5 because I’m big into takeaways.
Maybe it’s not about what I did. Some months are productive. Some months are a hot mess. Some months feel like momentum and others feel like maintenance. And still others feel like I’m fighting to keep my head above water. Most of the time, I’m somewhere in the middle. If I evaluate my month solely by productivity, I’ll miss important things: hard conversations I had, boundaries I set, and days I showed up when I didn’t feel like it. Not highlight reel material, but moments that matter.
My Monthly Takeaway Practice
I’ve shifted in how I reflect at the end of each month. Instead of asking “What did I get done?”, I ask:
What stretched me?
What filled me?
What drained me?
What do I want to hold on to?
What do I want to let go?
Redefining What Counts As A Win
Everyone wants a win, me included. We’ve been conditioned to celebrate big milestones, but I expanded what I call a win. Because, like I told Danielle in a recent podcast, I’ve had times in my life when I couldn’t face another loss or setback. While you can’t fake a win, you can look at things with a new perspective.
Showing up when I didn’t feel like it? Win.
Saying no when I would’ve said yes? (Not really a struggle for me, but I know it’s a challenge for some.) Win.
Taking care of myself instead of pushing through? This is a big one for me. Win.
Adjusting my plan instead of abandoning it? Win.
Not quitting is a win. Pivoting is a win. Protecting my peace is a HUGE win.
What March Actually Looked Like For Me
This was one of the reasons for this blog. It’s Tuesday, March 31st and when I reflected on this last month, it felt like a blur. I feel exhausted, so I must have been busy, but what really happened?
I did my own taxes…again.
Doing my own taxes, as I have now for the last 6 years or so, really makes me feel like an adult. Like, “Look at me, being responsible, organized, on top of my life. And I must be smart and know what I’m doing.” Until I hit the final submission and realize..unless I’m a billionaire, this economy isn’t built in my favor.
So yes, I owe this year. Love that for me.
Did it set me back on some of my financial goals? Also yes. But after cursing those responsible for our country’s economic downfall and questioning their definition of greatness, I handled it. I adjusted. I made a plan. I’m moving forward.
That counts.
I also launched a podcast this month, which is something that lived in my head for a bit before it became real. I’m thrilled that Danielle is my PIC on it, so it doesn’t even feel like work.
I created another LLC for my nutrition and wellness coaching so I can accept HSA and FSA payments- something that supports both my business growth and makes my services more accessible. This act stemmed from a conversation with a fellow woman entrepreneur, so I’m incredibly thankful for her advice and for having someone amazing like her in my life.
I’m ahead of schedule on planning for Goddess Games and getting ready to open registration in April. Event timelines and people’s procrastination cause me stress. Not this year. I also tweaked some things with the goal of a better overall experience for everyone. I’m feeling really good about it.
And my biggest win was setting some firm boundaries in an area of my life. Honestly, this one came with disappointment. Things didn’t play out the way I had hoped, but I didn’t even get mad about it. I knew what was best for me and I chose it. I didn’t abandon myself in the process. If you’ve ever been in a place where you’ve chosen others at your own expense, you know how big it is to choose you. There were seasons when I betrayed myself. It feels really, really good to know that version of me is in the past.
I’ve always been able to count on myself, but this month I proved it. This was my favorite “accomplishment.”
If boundary enforcement was my favorite accomplishment, my most underrated one was securing the prime tent site at a beach campground. This site. The one that’s always booked. The one you check for just in case and it’s never available. I had already started talking myself into settling, like “Just grab another site. The one you had last time was good.”
But I held out. I stayed flexible with my dates. And…I scored! Not a weekend, of course, but close enough to one to make it a nice, long retreat. So in 50ish days, yours truly will be sleeping under the stars, listening to waves crash a few feet away. All because I stayed patient, I didn’t settle, and maybe there was some willing it into existence. Maybe the Universe was like, “Give her the damn campsite. She needs some joy in her life. And it’ll keep her away from people and offline.”
Show up differently in life and one day, you’ll be rewarded.
Not Every Month Starts The Same
Usually, I love the start of a new month. It’s kinda like a clean slate, a fresh start, a roll over to a new calendar page. But April is different for me. I have to brace for this first week.
April 1st through the 7th holds three anniversaries of significant loss - of people and moments in time that changed me. Even though life has moved forward, those dates still carry weight. April comes in with heaviness, but it also brings and leaves with joy. My youngest son’s birthday is at the end of April - one of the best and happiest days of my life.
So, April for me is grief and gratitude. It’s loss and love. It’s the weight of what is no longer here, and the joy of what still is. Those things don’t cancel each other out. They can oddly exist at the same time. When I go to evaluate April - the month that begins with sadness and ends with celebration - it won’t be by what I did. I’ll measure it by how I carried both.
A Simple Monthly Reset
If you don’t have a way to close out your month, here’s something simple you can try:
Take 10 minutes and ask yourself:
What are 3 things that went well?
What are 2 things that challenged me"?
What is 1 lesson that I’m taking with me into next month?
If you want to dive deeper:
What do I need more of?
What do I need less of?
Final Thoughts
March wasn’t perfect, so thank goodness I didn’t expect it to be. I do have things to carry forward, and as April begins, I’m reminding myself:
I don’t have to have it all figured out. I need to pay attention to what this season is trying to teach me. April always shows me that life can hold a lot at once. In the middle of it all, I don’t want to miss the moments that can be good, even great.
~Candice
Starting From Here
There’s something strange about sitting down to write again after a long pause. Not because the words aren’t there, but because so much life has happened.
I’ve wanted to hit the “pause button “ many times.
But of course, there isn’t one for life.
I didn’t step away from this space intentionally or to make a big comeback. In fact, my blogging had fallen off in recent years as I struggled with autoimmune disease, career roadblocks, and empty-nester syndrome.
Somewhere in all of that, I found myself asking:
Where do I fit in this new version of my life?
And how do I show up?
How do I want to show up?
I attempted a platform switch to make blogging easier…and ended up losing a decade of content.
Initially, it was devastating.
I had documented important moments and transitions, but also the small, mundane ones. The everyday snapshots that would’ve otherwise been forgotten with time.
And if I’m being honest (because direct and brutal honesty is all that this oldest daughter, Virgo, Enneagram 8 woman knows!!!!) I really appreciated those reminders of the moments that didn’t seem like much at the time…but meant more later.
Losing a decade of content doesn’t erase the life that happened in it. Those moments aren’t any less real and the lessons are still here. Now, my response is “Okay, moving on.” I just needed a minute to sit with it.
It’s funny how life comes full circle.
There was a time when “choosing your battles” meant letting my toddler leave the house in a wildly questionable outfit—because I was teaching independence and responsibility.
And now?
I’m applying that same wisdom as I decide how much energy I’m willing to spend going back and forth with GoDaddy. (That’s an online hosting platform for those of you not in the know.)
Choosing your battles doesn’t stop—it just evolves.
I can’t go back and recover everything I lost.
But I can decide how much energy I give to trying.
And more importantly, I can choose what I want to build from here.
So here’s where I am now.
Still me.
Just with a little more perspective and a little less need to explain everything.
But more than anything, I care about what happens during the in-between moments. The ones that shape us in ways we don’t always see right away.
The everyday things. The shifts. The questions. The parts of life that don’t always make the highlight reel, but matter the most.
This blog is a place for that.
Not perfectly polished.
Not always perfectly planned. Which I am struggling with because I am such a planner!!!
Just honest reflections from where I am, as I go.
So if you’re new here—welcome.
And if you’ve been here before—thank you for finding your way back.
I’m still here.
Still growing.
Still writing.
Just from a different place than before.